Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Where do I begin, well today I had the day off and just did nothing. Well not really, I took Shilo to the groomers. She is my little Shtizo and is one today. I work in a trauma center and when I can get a day off it is nice not that I dont enjoy my job, I do. I love my job and helping peopel. Sometimes you just need a day. I have three wonderful children and two great grandsons. My daughter is very special to me and it breaks my heart when she hurts. The last several years has been hard on her not that other things have happened to other members of the family but for her not having her own child at this time is terrible and hard to watch the heart ache. The last month was really hard on her and the rest of the family. We thought we were going to see her dreams come true with a child to call her own. A precious baby boy was to come and join our family. But like other times this was not to be. Getting the nursery ready, clothes, and just the anticipating a little one was the same as if carring the child for nine months. Then we recieved the devasting news, he wasn't going to be living with us after all. We grieved, prayed, and picked ourselves up and kept on going. God had a plan and this was not it even though we felt it was. Then a week later we thought we had another baby boy soon to be born only to find out the birth mom could not be found and then found out that the baby probally did not make it. Another heart ache, more grieving, more questions but no clear answers. I know that one day my daughter will have her child either by adoption or birth. She will have her dream of being a mother come true. My heart aches for her when another one falls through, another baby is lost to the system. I love her very much and one day she will have answers to all her questions.