Christmas

This year is going to be a very special Christmas. You may asked why this year, all Christmas's are special....true. But you see this Christmas I have a new grandson, his name is Joshua Matthew Lee Fought, Matthew is what we call him. You see Matthew was prayed for, waited for, for a very long time. Not always patiently waiting but waiting....questioning if he or any child would ever be part of our lives. Then on September 17, my daughter, and son in law and myself went to pick him up in Ft Worth. That was a very special moment. You can not describe how it felt when we saw him for the first time. Now here we are celebrating the first Christmas with Matthew.

Now anyone who has followed this blog or followed me on facebook knows that Matthew is very special and little things mean more when he does them. That makes this Christmas even more special. During this time of the year people tend to look at the good in people, the oppourtunties that can be helped with and watching for "mircles" . Our little miracle was born on April 10 of this year and through the hands of God found us on the 17th of September. He had a journey to get to us but found his way. Thank you to the birthmom who gave him up and to the first adoptive parents for realizing that this was not ment for them. If yall had not made that descion we would not have our little angel.

Christmas is for family and this year our family is more complete. Not to say that sometimes things get crazy but a fun crazy. So lets remeber what Christmas means, the birth of our saviour and without that we would not have His grace and love to share with others. So remeber the meaning of Christmas and enjoy sharing time with your family this year, love them, and cherish the moment you spend with them. I know we will, we have our miracle and he is perfect just has God made him.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Nana's Night of Fun

For anyone who doesn't know me I have five grandchildren ranging in ages 13,10,2,1,and 7mths. I think my grand kids are the best ever. On Wednesday, November 11,2009 mark it down, I had all five of them. Now the youngest three were planned, the older ones came over of something else and decided to stay. We had a blast. We were outside walking around, the two year old was chasing Carlisle and then Carlisle would chase him, the one year old was climbing on everything that was able to move, Christian was trying to keep up with the one year old, Billy Dean was shooting his BB gun and I had Matthew. Now this was Matthew's first time to spend the night away from his Mommy and Daddy. Let me tell you that was fun. We looked at the flowers, said hello to Shilo, ate supper took a bath in the sink and cuddled and sang until bed. I loved it. Now this was all being done in between Brandi calling to check on him. I thought it was very sweet and funny to hear the phone ring and know who was on the other end.

As with all first time Mom's she was wanting to be sure that he was OK and that I was OK with all of them. I assured her that this was not my first rodeo and she quickly told me that I had never kept Matthew before and this different. I couldn't help but laugh, and wonder did I do that the first time my mom kept Brandi? I wasn't sure if he would stay all night. I knew he would be fine but was wondering about his Mommy and Daddy. They made it and all survived.

So we had a great time, my daughter and son-in-law had a night to themselves. Even though the two of them had a hard time going to sleep because it was to quite it was a much needed break and deserved rest for the both of them. Brandi you are the best. Call any time Matthew is with me.....it doesn't bother me a bit...in fact I find it very sweet. First time parents are the best....always learning and gazing at every little thing.....keep it up.

First Halloween

It was Matthew's first Halloween this year and his costume was made by his NanaNana. He was a M&M and was soooo cute. I had to work and Brandi sent me a video of the kids in thier costumes. Mr. J and Miss A told me Happy Halloween and it was sooo good to see and hear them. I wish I could have gone with them.

This time of the year is going to be a lot of first for Matthew.....first Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter. It is such an exciting time watching the excitement on his Mommy and Daddy's face during this time. These first will be different for Matthew than for other infants. Matthew is visuallly impaired and legally blind. His experience is based on sound, light, and touch. Although we have to learn how to experience these things differently none the less it will be exciting.

Watching his Mommy and Daddy prepare for the first Christmas reminds me how excited I was with Brandi's first Christmas. Shopping and picking out the perfect gift for the first is soooo exciting.

I have already started shopping for this special and perfect gift that we have been so blessed at having. I know I will spend to much and I will love ever minute of it. So stay tuned for blogs on the first for this little guy.

Matthew Nana loves you very much and you are so special to me........Your are a very lucky little boy and I know have lots to teach me.

The Unexpected

Ever wondered what kind of unexpected things you can find in the ER? You never know what you will find when things are quieter in a ER. Someone once found a condom used and unused. At first they were shocked at finding this item on the floor at the back of the room then it turned to something kinda funny. Everyone begins to laugh and speculate at what happened and how quick things must of happened. Or did they not use it and just planted it there for a joke? I guess they person will never know. You don't know when this took place or who took it on themselves to place this item there. I guess people sometimes waites a little long in the ER.....

So the moral of this is always check your patients and always keep them updated. Afterall you never know what you will find.

FirstBorn

There is nothing like having a first child and seeing that child have their own first born. That is what happened on September 17, 2009. My daughter had her first born. No she didn't give birth but that doesn't matter. When I saw them hand that precious little boy in her arms she had the same look on her face that any first time mommies has. She cried with joy, looked him all over, touched him and just stared at this little bundle. Then I watched my son in law hold him and look at him. The feelings that I had were the same feelings that would be there if she had given birth to him. Brandon was holding little Matthew and she was leaning over touching his hand and just staring at him. She made a comment that now she knows why parents stare at their new baby. There was an instant bond between them and Matthew was so content in Brandi's arms. I felt the joy of holding my first born grandson also. It was the most awesome experience that I have ever felt.

Now I have two grandsons that are from a son that was adopted, and I love them as they were my own. But having your first born child especially a daughter have theirs is something that cannot be described. I know that God placed this child with Brandi and Brandon and that we will all be very blessed. I look forward to seeing all the first that Brandi and Brandon will experience as first time parents.

Joshua Matthew Lee Fought could not have gotten better parents then Brandi and Brandon. He will be loved, cherished and of course spoiled by his Nana and NanaNana as if she gave birth. There is no difference. One child is chosen for you and the other you choose in a way. God is still in control over both. God is good, great and awesome.

Football, Kids, and Rain

Friday night is in the air. Football, band, crowds, cheerleaders. I took my three grandsons to the homecoming game last week. It was raining off and on and the two year old did not like the rain. He was also not so sure of the crowds and noise. He had a panicked look on his face and was hanging on to me for dear life. Was not expecting that reaction from the little boy who loves to play with the football. Finally the face softened and he became more relaxed and was okay with me putting him down. He began to cheer and dance when the band played. He was soooo cute doing this. But just when I thought he was finally enjoying himself where comes Majic the mascot. Majic went one way and little Mr. J took off the other way. I didn't know a two year old could move so fast. Got him over that one and here comes Majic again and there goes Mr. J. Then he began to enjoy the game and dance and yell Go Red. All was well....until it started raining. Mr. J. does not like the rain falling on him. He grabbed hold of me the great protector and hung on. We left before the game was over but not by much. All in all was a great night.

Doctors

Doctors are only human too. We should never forget that. They make mistakes and forget that sometimes a person just needs to be cared for reguardless as to what the status is. There was a older person who came into a emergency room who had a DNR and was bleeding everywhere. Now the nurse who took care of this person was doing everything she could to get the doctor to help this person. He ordered blood to be typed and crossed instead of Oneg which is universal donor and one unit of FFP (which is a platelets to help stop some of the bleeding). The order was put into as a STAT order. Since the patient was a DNR the doc would not listen to the nurse. The lab was called numerous times for the STAT order and was working on it. The person was sent to ICU, the blood never made it and the person died. Now would it have changed anything if the blood had gotten to this person sooner? No one knows. The nurse went above and beyond and should not have felt that she didn't. We have to remember that everyone has the right to die with dignity and with everything done that the person wants done. A DNR doesn't give the right for anyone to disreguard their life as unimportant. To my friend who take care of this person.....you did everything right.....you took care of this person and gave him respect and dignity.....you are a good nurse.

The Elderly

When is it that we become to old to be treated with dignity and respect? I work in a trauma center and day after day I see people from nursing homes coming in, in the most horrible conditions. People who work in nursing homes understands what kind of people are there and the job they are to do. So why is it that they are left and not giving anything to drink or turned or even simply giving a bath after they become incontient? I am amazed that the ones caring for these little people still have jobs. Have they forgotten that they themselves are nurses and the people they care for are someones, mom,dad,sister, brother, grandmother, and grandfather. We should all stop and think how we would want someone treating someone we care about. Just because a person gets older and unable to do some or all of things they used to doesn't give anyone the right to throw them away. We are all people and deserve respect at any age.

Family Relationships

What makes a family? Is it blood or is it a deeper connection? We had court today reguarding the little ones my daughter has. They will be staying with us for awhile longer. The parents didn't even show up. These little ones have become a part of our family even though there is no blood ties there. They don't look like us but none the less they are part of our family and it does not matter how they became apart. A family is just a group of people who love, care and respect each other. God chooses the people who are in a family and He choose us to be apart of these preciouse little ones lives and they have brought a countless amount of blessing to all of us. There has been ups and downs trials and triumphs but that is the it goes with any family. We don't know how long they will be with us but we will cherish every moment we have. God knows where they will end up and what kind of life they will have. We can only pray that we are part of that plan.

Getting and Feeling Old

Well I had my appointment with the orthropedist and just as we thought I tore my cartilage in my knee. I will have a scope done on it on the 16th of September and will be able to go back to work on that Monday. Thank goodness I wont be out long. Doing the scope now is my choice since supposedly it will not get worse just more "painful". I have five days in a row off and thought what the heck lets do it then if I can get back to work the next week. Even though it will be sore and I may have a limp it will not be any worse than it is now.

Now you may wonder how I did this. Was it an old sport injury? An automobile accident? Did I fall off of a building? No to all of these. I was just doing some yard work at my house in May. I must have just squatted and turned wrong one too many times. That is how you know when you are getting old. The things you used to do without difficulty now can cause tears in cartilage.

Getting old is not for sissies that is for sure. I refuse to be one so I will keep pushing until I can't anymore.

Grandchildren

I have had my oldest grandson now for two weeks while they are in the process of moving back. He is almost 13 and is ever bit a "teenager". I laughs at things that you say without meaning anything, eats everything in site, and listens to his music fairly loud. Boy do I miss those days at times. It has been great having him hear. He has helped me with yard work and putting things together. He will be in the 7th grade this year and playing football for my alma mater and I can't wait to see him on the field. His younger brother is 10 and likes to read more and be inside so he and I clash at times. I need to work on that one quite a bit. That relationship is harder than the one I have with the older one. I just get frustrated with him easier. Maybe as he grows we can come to a common ground. Then the two smaller ones my daughter has. I am very excited to have at least one granddaughter. I can't wait for things like Halloween, football and Christmas with them if they are still with us. I know it is possible for them to be back with their birth parents but really don't like to think about it. So for now I will enjoy, and cherish the times I get to spend with each and everyone of my wonderful grandchildren...

Tragedy

How can people treat others especially kids horribly. I was thinking about the kids that I have heard about being removed for abusive situations and drug situations, and then they are placed back in the same situation because someone higher believes that is in their best interest. How can that be in their best interest to go back to a home that is infested with drugs and abuse? No wonder some of these kids never have a chance. When I think about these issues I am very thankful that my kids did not grow up in that kind of enviorment. They may not have had the Cleaver household to grow up in but they were cared for and loved and most of the time they had everything they wanted. I can't always say that about my grandkids. I know that their are issues that worries me about how they are being brought up. They are not abused in the physical way but none the less there are issues. I pray that God watches over them and guides them through their childhood and protects them. The little ones that I talked about in the previous blog was in an abusive household and the effects even as young as they are is heartbreaking. Makes you wonder how people have children if they are going to mistreat them. When children come into our lives they are a gift and should be treated as such. They are to be loved not abused. I will never understand how people could harm there child. Thankful that my daughter is fostering children to give them the love and security that they may not have had. Brandi you are someone to look up too. You are a very special young woman who has a heart has bigger than anyone I know. You love so many children who have come in and out of your home and now have two for a unknown amount of time. You are a great mom and deserve to be one more than I can say. Always keep your eyes on God and you will make through even through the tough times.

Kids

Where do I begin. Well lets see, on the 13th of June my daughter and son-in-law, Brandi and Brandon, got thier second placement. A brother and sister age 10mths and 2 years. We weren't told much about the situation that they were removed from but from watching over the last two months I have a good idea on what they went through. There as been many changes, both good and trying, and sometimes a little unnerving. The two year old has anger issues that we are dealing with. We have assumed that there was abuse in the home before they were removed. We do know the father was abusive but were not old if toward the mom or both her and the kids. Then there are the times he is very loving and just a normal two year old. He needs lots of love and attention and we all are trying to give that to him without alienating the baby. In time he will just be a two year old. He loves playing with the balls of any kind, as well as cars and trucks. The baby turned one the first of the month and that was a lot of fun having a birthday party. She had so much fun digging into her cake and playing with the tissue paper out of the gifts. Both kids had so much fun. Later she took her first step. Now mind you it was just one step but it was a step. So much excitement watching her do things for the first time. I remember when Brandi told me she said momma for the first time and the excitement that she felt. Then there is the not knowing how long we will have them to love them and give them some stability. As my daughter says "Love them like the are staying forever, but expect them to leave tomorrow." I don't do that very well but maybe in time......no probably want ever get used to that. So alot of changes have occured and we just take each day, one minute, one hour, and one day at a time. With Gods help we will make a difference in these two little ones lives. Mr. J will become just a toddler and not a child who needs to have control and fight to protect his things, whether that is toys, home, food, or his mommy and daddy (even if for a short time) and just know he is loved and he is secure.

Family part 2

This has been a crazy week. First Brandi and Brandon got thier first foster placement last Sunday. A beautiful 10mth little boy. We were all sooo happy about this little guy. Then my sister and neices came in on Tuesday and we were all together so they could meet Freddy. Took pictures, played and just enjoyed another little baby in the house. Then the bomb dropped. After they took Freddy home to go to bed they recieved a call from the caseworker saying the judge ordered him to be returned to the father. That was just unbelievable. The child was removed due to drugs and the judge thinks he would be better off. I was very upset and mad, I thought this maybe the one. Brandi on the other hand said "Mom it all apart of the system and we knew this going in" well that didn't make me feel better. So I pouted and went on about my business (after a fit was thrown and opinions expressed). Oh did I mention this was the day before my birthday. Thought I was getting a new grandson but someone else had other plans. So they went on the camping trip as planned with their friends and I spent time with neices. I just hope this was the right thing for this little guy, hoping he had tubes in that was scheduled. I worry about this because I like to be in control. I think things would go much better if people would do things my way the first time. Thank goodness God is the One in control.. I know He knows what is best and the situation that is best. I just wish sometimes He would let me in on it just a little. So I will continue to pray, and pray, and pray for the little one that will come into our lives and stay.

Family

Yesterday my best friend had her first grandchild. A little baby boy. I was very excited for her in fact when I saw the picture I teared up. But I am also a little jealouse. I crave that expierence so much. I often wonder if I will ever have that. I know that God is in controll of this and I need to be patient and wait for His timing. That is very hard to do. So I keep on praying and waiting for His timing and answers. Brandi will be a mom one day and I will be able to share her joy in that.
I found out today that my daughter-in-law will be coming down Sunday to pay some of their bills and will need someplace to stay. So guess where her, two boys and a friend will be staying. You guessed it with me or my house. I will be at work when they get here. I hope that things will be ok and my things are left in place. Sometimes she can think she is helping and she really isn't. She means well but doesn't always know how to go about it. Then my youngest calls and askes if he can bring his dog to stay for awhile. He has a big dog and I have a big dog so not sure how that will go. He said he will keep him tied up and he wont get off. I sure hope he is right. He is trying to get his life back on track and needs some encouragement and support but sometimes you just have to learn to do it for your self. Hopefully he will figure that out.
The next wonderful thing is I had to go to the clinic to drop something off and ask again about my lab results. I had called yesterday and was told they would have to call me back and never heard from them. When asked was told yes they were in but needed to come in per MD. The only time I could get was Monday at 3:40. If had returned phone call yesterday could have seen MD today. I am so tired of unprofessionalism with people. If you say you will get back to someone than please do. My sister and neices will be here then and I didn't want to spend the time in a MD office. Guess that is what happens when you get old.

Mother's Day

Today was a great day. I got to spend it with my mom and daughter. I took them both out to eat for lunch and that was wonderful. I am very blessed to have such a wonderful mom who has taught me how to be a mom. She is very understanding, caring, and listens to me. She never tells me what to do but lets me work it with guideance. My daughter is awesome. I love her so much. This was supposed to be her first mother's day but things did not work out. I know she felt on the blah side and was not having a great day. I know one day she will get to experience that one day. I am very blessed to have her for my daughter. My grandsons came by and told me happy mothers day and that was great. I had not seen them in awhile and that was a nice surprise. They are growing up so much. It is hard to believe that my children are not babies any more and don't need me like they use to. On the other hand it is nice that my daughter is also my friend and so is my mom. I is nice to be friends with them and to share things on that level and at the same time enjoy the parent relationship. The song "Your going to Miss this" is so true. You don't reliaze it until they are grown. Watching my daughter turn into a beautiful young women is the best. She is so awesome. So to everyone who maybe reading this Happy Mother's Day. I hope yours was has wonderful has mine.

HeartAched

Today the baby boy that was supposed to be in our family went to the family who origanally had be chosen a month before Brandi and Brandon had found out about him. Even though it was hard to see him going to this family, I was glad to that he finally had a home and a place to grow and be nutured. Even though my heart aches for my daughter the important thing was for him to have a home. The people is with I know love him as much as we loved him and will take very good care of him. Then I think about Brandi and Brandon and the loss of this child. Not she did not carry him for nine months but she loved him and had all the first time mommy questions and excitement that you would expect. When the news finally came that he would not be coming to live with us they grieved just as if you had lost a baby that you carried and gave birth to. One day this will all make sense but until then I hope and pray that we can and will grow from this and wish the new family all the best. I hope to watch my daughter hold her baby soon. I know that God is in controll and has a plan for her life.

Day Off

Where do I begin, well today I had the day off and just did nothing. Well not really, I took Shilo to the groomers. She is my little Shtizo and is one today. I work in a trauma center and when I can get a day off it is nice not that I dont enjoy my job, I do. I love my job and helping peopel. Sometimes you just need a day. I have three wonderful children and two great grandsons. My daughter is very special to me and it breaks my heart when she hurts. The last several years has been hard on her not that other things have happened to other members of the family but for her not having her own child at this time is terrible and hard to watch the heart ache. The last month was really hard on her and the rest of the family. We thought we were going to see her dreams come true with a child to call her own. A precious baby boy was to come and join our family. But like other times this was not to be. Getting the nursery ready, clothes, and just the anticipating a little one was the same as if carring the child for nine months. Then we recieved the devasting news, he wasn't going to be living with us after all. We grieved, prayed, and picked ourselves up and kept on going. God had a plan and this was not it even though we felt it was. Then a week later we thought we had another baby boy soon to be born only to find out the birth mom could not be found and then found out that the baby probally did not make it. Another heart ache, more grieving, more questions but no clear answers. I know that one day my daughter will have her child either by adoption or birth. She will have her dream of being a mother come true. My heart aches for her when another one falls through, another baby is lost to the system. I love her very much and one day she will have answers to all her questions.